They really are two different animals. I've been finding myself diving into the depths of these words a lot recently .. I am 100% content in Greensboro, North Carolina and attending Guilford College. There are aspects of life here that genuinely make me happy, although the percentage is not quite as high. My internship with the ACC, for example, makes me very happy. But, I find that I crave more. That's always been my personality. Maybe I'll just never be that happy since I always strive for more, but I'm going out on an optimistic branch here and am going to say that I will be. But, is that here?
There are many stepping stones in life and I'm beginning to question whether or not this is one of mine. Before any of you take offense personally at this remark, let me explain. Last year, I was in love with Guilford and everything it has to offer. Now, I'm beginning to think I was naive. Do not get me wrong, Guilford is a great place, but I'm not sure it's for me at this point in my life. I feel as though I've grown so much in the past year - emotionally and otherwise. I've met a couple people this year that have completely reminded me of my values and what my potential really is. Please don't get me wrong, I am far from unhappy here. However, this feels like a time in my life that I might wonder "What if?" What if I transferred to a larger Florida city where I could bask in the warmth of the sun and simultaneously thrive in the inevitable opportunities of the sports industry?
On the other side of this balance is my internship with the ACC and my relationship with several faculty here at Guilford. Ben, Allison, Doug and the rest of my ACC family mean more to me than I'll be able to put into words. It's not just the personnel - it's also the atmosphere while enhancing my resume simultaneously. I can honestly say that I enjoy doing tasks such as stuffing envelopes and registering youth participants for the youth celebration portion of the ACC football championship. If I like this, I can only dream of what might be upcoming. Might it be more beneficial to stay with the ACC for another two years and have three ACC years on my resume than to transfer having only one and hoping that I get lucky by meeting the right people in Florida?
If you know me at all, you know I psycho-analyze every situation and will undoubtedly write my pros and cons before I irrationally act. However, this is true and also food for thought. How many people are even at college because they want to learn? Has it not become the social and respected norm after high school? Parents' expectations and peer pressure influence the decision of most individuals when looking for a college. I stepped out of my northern comfort zone to enter the south for an education that I truly want (Yes, when I was a senior in high school, around November, I questioned my reasons for going to school and therefore know my actions are true now).
Maybe it's a curse that I'm constantly thinking about how to improve myself and situations, but this concept of being happy versus being content is one that I really think will help shape my life. Humor me, think about it. Talk to a friend that you trust - even if you just met them this year; you'll never know - you might have a lot more in common with them than you could have ever expected.
On the tennis front, we're submitting our schedules to captains to begin some captains practices before the weather gets miserable.